BearBoyle.com

The words we say...

I was 18 years old... I was young and full of dreams. I'm sure I was a bit on the mischievous side of life occasionally but, nevertheless, full of ambition and good intentions. My intentions were to impact as many people's lives as I could. I've always been a “people person.” I've always loved working with people, I've always looked out for people and fought for what I thought was right concerning people. I decided to go into worship ministry at a young age, not knowing it was the most divisive ministry in the American church today.
 
I'll never forget the statement that was made to me by a deacon in the church I was working in at the time. He said, “Music ministry... you can't make a living doing music! You need to get a real job.”
 
Years have come and gone from that conversational moment. Life has shifted and transitioned for both of us; we have no communication with each other because of what I call life. We live hours from each other, I have no ill will towards him but my mind will never forget that conversation that happened some 17 years ago. It took years for me to get over self-doubt that I allowed to creep in due to that one statement.
   
What a wonderful opportunity we have to speak life into people who are struggling to find life.
Speak purpose into people who are lost, struggling to find their purpose. Speak encouragement into those whose dreams have fallen to the wayside. My prayer is that we make decisions to speak positivity into situations that could desperately use some positivity.
 
If you have ever come across my path in life and I have done nothing to encourage you and push you towards your best, then please accept my sincerest apologies. I hope I have not been a hindrance to you or an obstacle between you and what the Lord desires for you.
 
Psalm 19:14
May the words of my mouth and the thoughts of my heart be pleasing to you, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer. 

Holding Hands...

Download 09 I Can't Even Walk (Without You Holding My Hand)

Holding hands with my wife must be one of my favorite things in the world! Have you ever thought about the love, trust and security that you feel when you are holding the hand of the one you love? The one you love knows everything about you, from your strengths that have became triumphs to your failures that have led to defeat. It’s almost like there are two different kinds of hand-holding. There is the kind of hand-holding that says, I’m going to cherish this moment forever, life is good. Victories that have made life more enjoyable and full of laughter are things we cherish. Then there is the hand-holding that says, I’m with you in this journey, life’s not always easy but together it’s going to be all right. Those are the hand-holding moments that you’ll never forget.
 
Holding hands with my daughter is a whole other feeling!  She holds my hand because she needs me. I’m her protector and security. When things are confusing and changing around her, I’ve noticed she quietly wraps her hand around my finger just to grab hold of something she knows is sure and stable. I hold her hand because I’m blessed to call her my daughter, and because the responsibility the Lord has given me to be her dad is priority in my life. We go on walks a lot and she will often let go of my hand to do what she wants and to run around exploring things she’s never seen. Whether it’s jumping in puddles of water, chasing after the ducks or pointing at the birds as they fly overhead, but I’ve noticed that the moment something happens that she’s not sure of, she goes straight for my hand.
 
It’s amazing how holding hands with the people we love is so much like holding hands with the Lord. Sure, I know we don’t physically hold His hand, but your trust and commitment to him is just like holding His hand. He knows our good times and bad times, successes and mistakes but yet His hand is always there to hold. Whether it’s enjoying our good times or reminding us that He’ll guide us through the difficult times, His hand is worth holding.
 
Have a blessed Christmas and enjoy holding hands!

Dreams...

Dreams...

            When I was young our family lived on a gravel road. That gravel became the baseball field that hosted the dreams I had of playing Major League Baseball.  Hours on end, I would hit rocks across the rolling pastures that later played host to my PGA golfing dreams. Dreams are a funny thing, it's amazing how fast they come and go. When I was hitting all those countless rocks over the fence at Fenway Park in Boston and strolling across the pasture hitting golf ball after golf ball, lining up every shot as though I was playing at the Masters in Augusta, Georgia, those dreams seemed so tangible and sure. There was never a doubt in my mind that these dreams would someday become reality. 

            As I grew older and my talents and gifts became more evident, or should I say lack of talent and gifts, my dreams shifted to life and what I wanted to be. Not so much what I would be doing but how I would be doing it. I began to dream of singing and leading worship for people and to dream of seeing their lives touched by the One we were worshiping. I felt like God had given me so much insight into my own life that it was, again, inevitable it would happen. Years later, I find myself having done thousands of times what I had dreamed of some seventeen years earlier. As I said earlier, “Dreams are a funny thing; it's amazing how fast they come and go.” 

             At the age of thirty-five, I find myself living in a world that is constantly changing. What used to be so constant and steady often seems faulty and unpredictable.  I’m pulled from every side of life whether it is emotionally, financially, physically or supernaturally. I’ve often made the mistake of attaching my identity to the items that are changing so rapidly and finding my emotions to be as faulty and unpredictable as those items. I’ve heard it said that “life is a roller coaster and the process is as equal as the prize.” I understand that more now than I have my entire life; and, rest assured, I will understand it more as I grow older. 

            “There are some people who live in a dream world, and there are some who face reality; and then there are those who turn one into the other.”    — Douglas H. Everet

            I encourage you to keep dreaming, as you grow older... keep the dream that God has put inside you. The process may not be what you thought, but in the end, it’s still your dream!

Do your best to keep the dream alive, even when you can’t feel it!  

I still, from time to time, walk across the gravel road and stroll around the pasture where all my dreams started, just to remind myself that with all of life’s transitions, detours and misguided decisions lays a dream that God put in my heart....  I just have to find it.

 

Patience

Patience

Have you ever noticed how much time we don't have?  Rushing here; running there.
Doing one thing while thinking of another, because we just don't have the time!
STOP EVERYTHING!  Take a deep breath, don't talk, don't listen to the radio, leave the television off. Don't do anything for just a few moments.
 
I've heard it said, “Good things come to those who wait.” 
 
Reliance on God has taken a back seat to our figuring things out for ourselves. We often hold back the miraculous hand of God because we rush around to find alternate ways to get what we need. Financial blessings that only God could provide have been replaced with finding the right bank that will adjust to our desperate situation.
 
“Patience is a virtue,” because it allows our circumstances to catch up with our mental approach to those circumstances. For most of us, patience is a real issue—whether at work, at home, or with friends and their situations. Whatever the case may be, we need to strive for patience.
 
While you’re patiently waiting, remember to keep your eyes on the prize. Don't allow distractions to enter into the vision of your life. God has a lot in store for you.
 
Jeremiah 29:11
“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the LORD.
“They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”
 
Notice the word “plans” in this verse. God has plans for you, meaning more than one thing for you to do; so be flexible, listen for God's voice and make waiting a positive instead of a negative.
 

Change...

 

“I'm not who I was.”  These words written by Brandon Heath seem to ring clear in my mind and to pierce my heart every time I hear the song. I was raised in the parsonage, 38 feet from the church where my dad was the pastor. We lived in the country; our house sat on a hill that overlooked the Caney River Valley. I used to walk through the pastures hitting golf balls with golf clubs my grandmother sent me that used to belong to my granddad, but my favorite past time was hitting rocks with the wooden baseball bat that we kept in the garage. We had nothing but time! Time to dream, time to play and time to think. Cars would seldom pass by; but when they did, you could hear them coming a mile away. Every morning my brother and I would stand out in front of the house waiting on the school bus; we couldn't see it because of the fog that nestled in the valley, but we could hear the engine echoing through the pecan trees that surrounded our property.

Years have passed, and I now live in the city surrounded by houses where space is a premium. Cars go by at a much quicker pace and more often, to say the least. The pasture golf has been replaced with competing to schedule a tee time at the nearest golf course, and the closest thing to hitting rocks with my baseball bat is to spend $100 to sit in the stands to watch the Texas Rangers play ball. Time to dream, time to play and time to think seems scarce these days.

I guess life is full of changes. Change is often looked at as a negative. Change is either too difficult, too fast, too seldom, too compromising, etc. ….

I look at change today differently than I used to, for sure. Change isn't always a negative. Change is a wonderful thing if embraced correctly and done appropriately. I've changed a lot over the years—my thoughts, ideas, opinions, and even dreams have changed. What used to motivate me in the past doesn't move me anymore. I've seen many dreams come to reality; I've seen many dreams fail. There have been times when I wouldn't change, and times when I changed too fast.

Looking back at my life... I have regrets; I have things I wish hadn't occurred. I've changed from many of those regrets, and learned from many of them as well. Today, I lead with understanding. Today, I lead with extended grace of which there is no end.

Mt 18:3 -
And he said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.

Life is full of changes, some big and some small. Sometimes the small changes lead to the big changes.

Whatever the case is for you, pray about the change in your life and then change with no regrets. Appreciate your foundation and your past for what it was. Learn from it and grow; then move on to touch the lives that God has in store for you. Life is too important and filled with too many great things for you not to change with it.

I'm not who I was.

I can't hear you!

Cantankerous; –adjective.  Disagreeable to deal with; contentious; peevish:

Why is it that so many of us are cantankerous?  What is it that has made our life miserable?  Seems to be cantankerous and be a Christ follower is an oxymoron.  Unfortunately I deal with so many people stuck in the rut of living a life of unhappiness that seemingly offer one catastrophe after another where they have become accustomed to embracing drama filled days of emptiness.  Living a life for Christ is better than that! 

I've noticed in my life (with the help of others) I have approval addiction.  Most of my life has been based off of how others either viewed me or accepted me.  That's a tough place to be because you end up living your life for others.  You say what you think they want you to say, act the way you think they want you to act and when it comes to criticism you take all you can until you are beat down so far you have no idea who your true identity really is.  Cantankerous people and people that struggle with approval addiction are a crazy combination because one feeds the other.  Approval Addiction people never speak their heart to the cantankerous people so nothing ever changes either.  Cantankerous people never feel any reason to not be cantankerous around approval addicted people so nothing ever changes. 

I however have been growing and learning in my walk with the Lord and realize my approval lies with God.  So I ask the questions, Lord are you pleased with me?  Am I doing what You want me to do?  As I ask these questions I have less thought on the criticism and more thought on the reason for the persons cantankerous attitude. 

God is a good God, full of mercy and grace.  I am so thankful for all He has done for me.  Live life to the fullest and don't second guess yourself.  It's impossible not to hear all the comments but if you can, listen more intently on what God is saying to you rather than what people are saying to you.

I'm living by this motto:  I don't have time to listen to negative criticism when someone hasn't taken the time to speak positively in my life.  My ears are no longer trained to hear discouragement from anyone that hasn't taken the time to encourage me.

Out of my control.

She grabbed my arm... “Bear, Bear!”

I woke up knowing the tone in Jill's voice wasn't normal. Startled, I jumped to my feet
as I heard her say, “Maddy's heart rate is crazy.” When I got to Maddy, I picked her up and felt
how warm she was and felt her heart rate; she seemed to be having trouble breathing. Jill and I
just kept looking at each other without saying a word:  we were scared, helpless and unsure.
We held Maddy, prayed with her and gently wiped the tears from her eyes. For 20 months every time Maddy was upset or crying, I would say, “Daddy's here; it's okay;” because, I've wanted her to know that as long as daddy is there, everything is okay. So this time was no different, I kept telling her, “Daddy's here; it's okay;” but in my mind I knew it was the first time that her life seemed out of my control and I didn't know if “everything was okay.”

“Swine flu,” the doctor said.

“Swine flu?” we said, right back to him.

I stood in the doctor’s office with all kinds of thoughts racing through my mind—from the reports I had seen online to the tragic news stories I had seen the night before concerning swine flu. What would happen to Maddy?  What could I do to fix this?  Where did she get this from?  Could I have done something different?

“Are you serious?  Swine flu!”

Unlike some of my high-school and college friends, I waited a little later in life to have my first baby. She is everything to me, to say the least, and one of the main reasons I enjoy getting out of bed every morning. I realize all parents go through the “out of my control” moments of life; mine just happen to hit me last week when Maddy became ill.

Through prayer and the advice of doctors, Maddy made a complete recovery from the swine flu that ransacked our lives for 72 hours. Those 72 hours, though, have marked my life indelibly.

I realize there will be many moments in my life when situations arise that are “out of my control.” From those 72 hours, my trust in God has increased my faith and strengthened my endurance for the next “out of my control” moment, which I know will come.

Psalm 73:26
My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

Lord... thank you for loving my family, for hearing our prayers and for healing our little girl.
I'm sorry for the times I've tried to keep things under my control and never gave you the chance
to take care of my problems. I trust you, Lord, more than I show and love you more than I say.
Your ways will always be better than mine, and for that I'm forever grateful.

I'm not looking forward to the next “out of my control” moment but I've learned not to live in fear of it either. Thank you for your perfect love that drives out all my fear, and thank you for your grace that accepts my imperfect love. Amen.

Don't do it.

I remember it like it was yesterday. I had just finished playing golf with my usual group of guys and I had walked into the clubhouse just in time to hear an older gentleman angrily complaining about the golf course.

I had no reason to ignore the conversation or to act like it wasn't happening or even that it wasn't any of my business. I figured since his tone and volume were of no regard to him, then he wouldn't mind if I stood and listened to him complain. To my surprise, he began to call for the green keeper’s resignation. The complaining elderly man waived his arms in the air, often becoming belligerent about the issue of this “incompetent greens keeper” and his inability to keep the golf course to the standards this man was expecting. After a few minutes of my standing and listening, both the complaining elderly man and the club pro looked at me and the elderly man asked me what I thought. 

I've been raised in the ministry my entire life. When you're raised in the ministry, you come to terms with the fact that you’re living in the house that you live in as long as people like you. When people decide not to like you, then you move on to the next house. The Bible says to turn the other cheek, so... confrontation is not and never has been an attribute that I deal with well.

I put my head down for just a second while my mind thought about life and ministry. Then I looked up at the contentious elderly man and with all sincerity said, “I think that you're asking a man to resign and move his family because you can't putt.”  His eyes and my eyes locked for what seemed like an eternity before I just turned and walked away.

Ephesians 4:29 – Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

Golf is a one-man sport enjoyed by many people. I have certain friends that I enjoy the game with, but when it comes down to playing the game I have to concentrate on my game because they can't do it for me. Our relationship with the Lord is similar in that it's easy to focus on other people's flaws and to skip our own. I have too many imperfections to think about somebody else’s. My relationship with God is my relationship with God.

Don't play the blame game or point fingers to someone who isn't living up to the standards you want. Live your life, play your game, walk in your calling!

Everlasting.

Everlasting; incessant; constantly recurring.

The thought that God is everlasting has been ringing loud and clear in my mind for some time now.

I've always said that God is everlasting. I've always stated it at the appropriate times, bearing the situation called for a word of encouragement. As a minister, it has been engrained inside my mind since my days in Bible College that God is everlasting; but for some reason, I never coupled “He is everlasting” with “He is all knowing.”  Everlasting is usually pictured as “from now until eternity,” which is true.  But I also know that He was before now and He knows what's going on in our life before it even happens.

As we struggle through daily problems and situations that arise, it's easy to have feelings of pressure, intensity, loneliness and then doubt. We then try to come to our own conclusions or to solve our own problems, often trying to justify our means and actions all in Jesus’ name. We rally around us the troops that will adhere to and confirm our decision, tying God's hands so that He can't help us at all.

Jeremiah 31:3 says, "I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving kindness, I will build you up again and you will be rebuilt.

An Everlasting God is an All-Knowing God; an All-Knowing God is an All-Powerful God.  Those three attributes of God are enough to pull you out of the darkest hour of your life and to place you in the beautiful light of His presence. When He says, “I will build you up again and you will be rebuilt,” that applies only to the person who has been torn down. 

Be encouraged today that if you are dismayed and your life has been shattered, destroyed, and torn down, you qualify for God to build you up again and to be rebuilt by Him. Be open to new things in your life because when God builds you up, He builds you for His purpose, not yours.  Who better to be rebuilt by? Than by the One who is everlasting, all-knowing and all-powerful.

Don't let this moment in life get the best of you; don't quit; don't give up; don't stop trying. Let God use this time to build you up to His specifications and for His purpose. 

Everything's gonna be alright...

I love golf.  I love everything about it.  I love that it's not a team sport; I love that it's a mental game as much as a physical game.  I love that it takes 4 hours to play; I love that I can hit three bad shots and one good one and have the same score as if I hit three good shots and one bad one. I love that I begin getting ready for golf the night before I play. I love the quiet and I love the solitude of golf.

I was recently asked by a friend whom I hadn't seen in quite some time, “How are you doing?" Before I could answer, the person answered for me and said, “I'm sure you're doing fine; you're always doing fine; and everything seems to always be all right with you.”  Seems I sometimes put out the perception that nothing goes wrong in my life. I have a calm demeanor and a casual style, not something I was born with but something that I've worked on. As far as “nothing going wrong in my life,” well, that couldn't be farther from the truth. I have things go wrong in my life on a daily basis. I have been to the valley of the shadow of doubt just like everyone else. I have a temper just like everyone else. I get discouraged just like everyone else. I have to pray through situations just like everyone else.

In the game of golf, one thing is for sure. If I hit a bad shot (and bad shots come more often than I would like), I have to learn to forget the bad shot or I'll never hit the next good shot. The next opportunity to hit the ball could be the shot that changes the score for that hole; but, more importantly, it could change my whole mental approach to that round and eventually to the game itself.

When bad shots come into your life, how you handle them and then forget them is essential in leading a victorious, guilt-free life. Golf is full of distractions and personal failure, but it also has rewards that are immeasurable. Overcoming life's distractions and personal failures will allow the rewards to be that much sweeter. You will have bad days, tough times, moments of failure and pitfalls due to distractions. That's just life but... Everything's “gonna be alright!”